How to Calculate Your Card of the Year

If you follow a lot of witchy folks like myself, you’ve probably heard people saying that The Emperor is the card of the year for 2020.  We use numerology to arrive at this card (I will show you later in this post how to do it).

My interpretation is that the Emperor is kind of like the theme for the year  As a collective we will be focused on how to build new structures to stand the test of time. We will be looking at our daily work and routines and restructuring to make space for new things.  This might mean letting go of some of the activities that were integral parts of your daily life for years.

Whether that means letting go of friendships or just seeing certain friend groups less frequently, stepping into a new role in your life  (like mother/father, husband/wife, or boss) change, even change that we are looking forward to, comes with growing pains.

You might be holding on to your old ways of doing things or trying to force new areas of your life into old systems.  When you find yourself being met with resistance, pause and pay attention. Notice that resistance and ask yourself if what you are doing is necessary or if it is even helpful.  Sometimes we hold on so tightly without really asking ourselves why.

So how can we find some assistance in handling this change to our structural systems?  We can use the medicine of our own Card of the Year.

In order to calculate your own personal Card of the Year, you just need to add together your birth month, birth day, and the current year.

So for example: My Birthday is August 20.  So I would calculate 8+2+0+2+0+2+0 = 14 

So my personal card for the year is Temperance.  If you know me and follow my tarot journey, you know that is hilarious for me, because while Temperance is a lovely card, I struggle with finding moderation in my life.

If you get a number higher than 22, just add your numbers together again.  So 23 would be 2+3=5. (Also important to note that 22 is the Fool card). Once you have your number you can find the corresponding major arcana card:

1 Magician

2 High Priestess

3 Empress

4 Emperor

5 Hierophant

6 Lovers

7 Chariot

8 Strength

9 Hermit

10 Wheel of Fortune

11 Justice

12 The Hanged One

13 Death

14 Temperance

15 The Devil

16 The Tower

17 The Star

18 The Moon

19 The Sun

20 Judgement

21 The World

22 The Fool

*a note on The Fool Card : The Fool is technically numbered 0 or 22

So why bother to do all of this?

Your personal card can help give you more perspective for your focus for the year.  So for myself, I might look at the Emperor card and see how I’m setting up structures and systems to make my business a success.  I’m in the midst of the hard work of getting established and growing, which is wonderful, albeit, not always exciting work. But it is necessary work.

So when I look at Temperance as my personal card, I can bring that energy into these systems I’m trying to build.  For me, the Temperance card is always about giving myself some grace and learning to be patient. I have a tendency to throw myself into things 150% with little regard for sleep, normal hours, or moderation. 

The combo of these two cards is offering me guidance.  I need to find a slower pace than I will want to while building my business.  In order to establish something sustainable, I will need to move more like the tortoise than the hare.  I am slowly setting up systems for myself while being wary of my tendency towards burnout. I will need to make self-care not just a priority, but one of the weekly, if not daily, scheduled items on my list.

This is something I have known for a while but seeing it in the cards reinforces for me how important it is for me to have structure.  When I don’t have structure and a schedule I will simply work until I drop.  

It takes a certain kind of person to see this and think “Dammit, now I have to take care of myself!” but that’s just how I am.  That’s also how the tarot is. It will bring you to what you need, exactly when you need it.

I know I am not the only entrepreneur who struggles with this proclivity to over-work.

But enough about me and my own experience.  What about you? 

Now that you have your cards how can you figure out what that means for you?  Here are a few journaling prompts to get your on the right track.

How can the energies of these two cards work together?

What is your general attitude towards building structure in your everyday life?

How does your Card of the Year apply to self-care and prioritizing yourself, before you get too busy to do so?

How can your Card of the Year help you achieve your biggest goal(s) of 2020?

I would love to hear about your experiences.  Please feel free to share in the comments or via email.  I enjoy hearing your insights.

© Sheila Masterson 2020 All Rights Reserved

Daily Medium Life – A Reluctant Medium Follow Up

Nine months ago I made my first blog post ever all about my mediumship abilities and everything I was going through.

It’s hard to believe it’s been nine months of being public.  I still get questions and weird looks daily about what it’s like so I thought it might be a good time to check in.

The short story is that although I don’t talk about it super often and my mediumship readings make up a very small part of my practice, talking to spirit is still a very present part of my everyday life.

I think that most people think that being a medium is just me walking around seeing physical manifestations of spirits all day every day.  That is not the case. In fact, it’s pretty rare that I physically see spirits. It happens on occasion but for the most part, I get a sense that they are there and then I see them in my mind.

This week was a big one for astrological movement and I felt it very strongly.  The veil between words has a tendency to thin during the full moon, so I will be more aware of spirits. They will feel more present, a little stronger, a little bit more disruptive in my daily life.  They will break through during times when I am usually able to block them out.

So for example, when I work with Reiki clients or tarot clients, I typically turn off my mediumship ability so that I’m focused just on my client and I don’t get distracted, bu this week with everything that was going on, I  was interrupted in a reiki session and also in the middle of a reading at a tarot party by very persistent spirits that needed to talk to my clients.

That is really not the norm.  I have become very good at setting my boundaries with spirits, much the way I do with people in the physical world.  When I am off the clock, I really try to be fully off the clock. (Like when I was on vacation last month and I put up my spirit “out of office”)

I hold weekly spirit “office hours” where I will be open to communication with spirit and I also open up while I’m in session with mediumship clients, but the rest of the time, I turn on my spiritual “out of office” to give myself a break energetically.

So contrary to popular belief, I’m not walking around all day every day reading the relatives of everyone I meet.  I would be totally exhausted if I tried to do that.

With so many medium shows on TV now I think people get the impression that I’m going to walk up to them at the grocery store and start giving a reading, but personally I find that to be very invasive.  Reality TV is well-edited and those TV mediums are usually filming for weeks to get enough content for a full show. They aren’t just walking around reading constantly.

Even in other energy work sessions I give, I try not to read people unless that is specifically what they are there for because it feels ethically a little weird to me, and I respect the privacy of my clients.  If a spirit is being really persistent, I will tune in and see what all the fuss is about, but I really try to respect boundaries the rest of the time.

This week was an exception though.  When I was at a tarot party, a client’s daughter in spirit interrupted our session to come through really strong to both me and her mom.  She was very persistent and even her mom could feel the energy that she was bringing. It turned out to be very healing and a really important message, but afterwards I was super tired.

On my way home, another spirit that I am personally familiar with popped into the car with me while I was driving home. I think he was trying to help me out because I was so tired and I had a long drive, but everytime he comes around he makes my car smell like cigars (which I hate).  We had a nice little spirit chat before he popped out again and let me have some peace.

What I’ve found very interesting is that mediumship brings out my perfectionist side.  I don’t like to do anything that I’m not good at and mediumship is incredibly hard, and subjective.  There are so many different ways spirits communicate and sometimes I have to switch how I am communicating with a spirit on a dime because they don’t like to talk the way I usually do.  Spirits communicate in so many different ways and because of the way they communicate, with basically no context at all, doing a reading for someone is incredibly vulnerable.

I’ve also found that as an industry, people tend to lump all psychics and mediums in with the ones who are frauds.  This is not totally fair, Every industry has their share of frauds but for whatever reason, when it comes to metaphysics, people are especially ready to call every practitioner a fraud.  

This can be so frustrating to me since there are plenty of bad lawyers, doctors, financial advisors but you don’t find people having the same hesitation about hiring them.  I know the healing power of this work.

I’ve been so discouraged at times, and as a bit of a perfectionist myself I’ve considered giving it up several times, just to let myself off the hook.  What’s funny is that every time I do something weird will happen to convince me otherwise.

The first time, I had five client sin a row come in for reiki sessions who had a spirit with them who was desperate for me to deliver a message.  Then, I tried again and had clients come in for tarot only to have very strong spirits trying to communicate with them as well. Then this week, I said maybe I will just take a mediumship break for a bit to give myself a little more space in my schedule for some of the new work I’m doing, I had three different people reach out for readings and then that spirit show up at my tarot party to talk to her mother.

So I have to say, “OKAY, SPIRIT, I WON’T!”

I just wanted to give you all an update since I haven’t talked about it on the blog here for a while. I welcome any questions about this or anything else I do.  I’ll talk to you all next week.

In other news, this week is the absolute last call for 2020 Year Ahead Tarot Readings and New Years Release and Initiation Reiki and Tarot Combos. These are potent offerings that are perfect for you if you are trying to plan your year for maximum efficiency. They will be coming off my offerings list next week to make room for some new things that I am very excited about, so keep your eyes out for some new stuff coming next month.

Staying Motivated and Making Time for Spiritual Practices in 2020

I’m fresh off a trip to Florida to visit some family and ready to tackle 2020.  This time of year when we launch into Capricorn season we tend to have a lot of energy and ambitious, no-nonsense goals.  

That’s why so many people head into the year with super aggressive New Year’s resolutions.  I watch year after year in my yoga classes how January will have classes packed to the gills only to slowly diminish towards the end of the month, and balance back out to the usual in February.

So why is it so hard for us to set manageable goals?

I’ve been reading a lot about this over the past few weeks with trying to manage my own resolutions and set goals that make sense to me.  I think a big part of it is that we have a limited amount of motivation and it’s easy to burn out when you use so much motivation all at once.

Another reason is that a lot of people don’t know the “why” of their goal.  

So let’s look at the typical New Year’s resolution, I want to make healthier and more conscious meal choices.  

While this is a great goal, what is the actual motivation for doing it?  Are you just trying to lose weight? Does it sound good to you? Is it something you’re hoping you will get around to eventually?

When we focus on things that sound good to us, that we haven’t been able to find the motivation for yet, it’s important to ask yourself why it hasn’t been a priority until now.

A few years back I wanted to try to get into running.  I absolutely did not enjoy it, but it sounded good to me.  I wanted to learn and I thought that was enough and for a few weeks it was.  But, after about a month I was running out of steam.  

I really took some time to ask myself why I was doing this and why it was important to me. Then, I reflected back on a study I read about how just 30 minutes of cardio exercise three times per week was enough to significantly reduce cancer-risk.

That was it for me. I set a small goal and my running grew from there.  After about three months, it was normal for me to run three hour long runs a week.  I maintained that for several years and I really learned to enjoy it. It was a commitment I made for myself and my health.

I’m not telling you all this to toot my own horn, it’s really about finding your own motivation.

We tend to set some ambitious spiritual expectations for ourselves as well.  My advice is to start small and figure out your why.

Spiritual practice doesn’t have to look like meditation every single day.  Maybe that’s not feasible with your schedule. Maybe you say you won’t go more than 3 days without making at least five minutes of meditation.  Maybe you vary your types of meditation so you stay motivated and find your favorite type.

You can also find ways to include this in your everyday schedule.  

I wanted to bring a journaling practice into my life but I could never find the motivation to be consistent.  About three months ago I committed to just five minutes every morning and five minutes every night. That’s ten minutes a day and because it is such a short amount of time, and it’s built into my schedule as soon as a wake up and right before I go to sleep, it’s easy for me to stay with this habit I’ve built.

Give yourself some time this week to really focus on your “why” for your resolutions or goals.  Really break down why each one is important to you so that when your motivation wavers, you can come back to your practice with renewed vigor and excitement.  

This doesn’t mean you need to sit down for an hour and do breathing exercises or deep meditation.  Just give yourself the gift of twenty minutes of quiet and ask yourself a couple of questions. Maybe even write it down so you remember.

I hope 2020 brings you and yours a lot of joy and good fortune.  I have a lot of exciting offerings coming up over the next three months so make sure you are paying attention to my weekly emails (you can get on my email list here) and keep an eye on social media.

How to Clear a New Tarot Deck

Quick and easy ways to clear your tarot deck.

Last week I got a new tarot deck and a friend asked me what you do to clear it.  She had heard a lot of the weird rules that seem to have made their way all over the internet.

I wanted to write about it and clear the air. 

So many resources say things like your first deck needs to be gifted to you (it doesn’t). People need to touch the cards in order for you to read them (they don’t). Or that you need to sleep with a new deck under your pillow when you first buy it (you don’t…unless you love it so much that you really want to).

This is a question I get a lot from newer readers and it brings up a good topic for today’s blog.  

How do you clear a new tarot deck?

You can start just by taking the deck out and separating the cards a bit and looking at each one.  This is a great way to get acquainted with a new deck. It’s rare that you get to see every card before owning the deck so this is a wonderful way to see if any of the art trips you up or if there’s any card depictions you really love.  

Once you feel confident that the cards are not too stuck together and that you’re pretty comfortable with the art,  you can break out whatever type of clearing items you use. If you like to burn cedar, or sage (I like mugwort, or lavender, but you can use whatever is in your lineage).  If smoke clearing is not your thing, you can use Selenite to charge your deck or a Selenite wand to clear all sides of the deck.

Then, you can hold the deck to your heart and set an intention for it.  So for example, if you are just planning to read for yourself you can say something like “May this deck bring guidance and clarity for my highest and best good”. If you are planning to read a lot for other people, you can set the intention of clarity for the highest and best good of yourself and others.

Then, you are good to go. Just give the deck a very good shuffle to get started.

If you want to take things one step further, you can interview the deck to get an idea of what kind of work it might be good for.  

For example, some people find that one deck works better for reading for other people than it does for reading for yourself.  You may also find that certain decks are great for light, joyful readings but not as good with handling heavy emotional energy.

So how do you go about interviewing your deck?

Meditate with the deck in hand and focus on some good questions to ask.  Ask your guides and angels to send through the clearest messages to trigger your intuition.

Then write out three to five questions to ask your deck.

Some questions I have used are:

What are the strengths of reading with this deck?

What are the limitations of this deck?

What can I learn from this deck?

What is the best way to work with this deck?

What best represents the energy of this deck?

What card defines our collaboration?

These types of questions will give you a good idea of what strengths and limitations a certain deck might have for you.

I do actually have a standard Smith-Rider Waite Deck that I only use to read for myself or teach people. It doesn’t work as well when I use it to read for others.  It works best if I just use it for myself, so I do. (You will notice I post pictures of this deck but never for card pick days).

In between uses you can keep the cards in your bag or somewhere you will have easy access to them. There are a lot of rules written up about storage, too.  I think it’s nice to store them in a safe place if you can but if you are going through a lot or you travel with your deck, it’s not as practical. When I’m not using my cards I usually keep them on a shelf in my reading room with a crystal of some kind sitting on top.

Everything I have given here is just a suggestion of what to do. Ultimately you can follow your own intuition as to how to best break in a deck for yourself.

I hope this post helps bring some inspiration and direction to your practice and I would love to hear about it in the comments.  Please feel free to share your experience or what methods work best for you.

Working with the Cycles of the Moon

We are finishing out 2019 with a bang with a new moon solar eclipse in Capricorn. This got me into a big discussion a few days back with a friend about what we can expect out of the end of the year. It’s sure to be an exciting and lucky new moon and also a great time to set intentions for not just the new moon but the new year. You can expect to feel more connected to your intuition and feel very creative and inspired.

This conversation about the new moon solar eclipse got me thinking about how working with the cycles of the moon is a great way to bring intuitive awareness into your life. One of my goals for 2020 is to be more aware of how the moon affects me as an intuitive person. I really want to notice how I feel with each phase and what sign it’s in.

You may have heard before that in general the new moon is a good time to think about the kind of energy you want to bring into your life. It’s a time of intention setting and manifestation.  

The full moon on the other hand is a great time to release.  To let go of what is no longer serving you and to reflect on what you were working to manifest.

I had the good fortune to do a Full Moon Circle with a bunch of rad ladies back in October. It was amazing. We drank warm apple cider, braided hair, did makeup, read cards, ran around a fire cackling and threw into the fire what no longer served each of us. It was a beautiful experience.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that there are so many ways to work with the moon and you might feel more aware or more productive at certain moon phases.  Your birth moon phase indicates your approach to life and integral parts of your personality. (If you want to find yours you can get it here

I thought it would be fun to talk a little bit about what personality traits each moon phase has.

New Moon – Enthusiastic excited ready to hit the ground running. New moon babies tend to be a bit more impulsive and are all about new beginnings but may struggle a bit with follow through and finishing what they start.

Waxing Crescent – Owning the same energy and enthusiasm as those babes born under the new moon, waxing crescents tend to have a little bit more consideration for the outcome. They tend to be open to exploring but with a more cautious approach.

First Quarter – These people tend to be very confident, passionate, and don’t mind taking risks. They have a tendency towards striving and may feel like they are always trying to prove something to themselves and to the people around them. They tend to be good leaders because they can easily rise to and overcome challenges.

Waxing Gibbous – Waxing Gibbous people tend to be very organized and prepared and always on a journey of learning. They are into personal development and exploring what makes them tick. They are much more into planning and creativity and are also working to perfect their work, their relationships, and themselves.

Full Moon – These individuals tend to feel most at peace when they are in a relationship. In fact, most of their lives are spent finding and growing relationships because that is where they tend to cultivate the most learning and growth. Much of their experience is about learning to live in the tension of finding harmony between opposing forces and ideas.

Waning Gibbous – Those born during this phase tend to be messengers and teachers whether through writing, researching, or speaking. They tend to break with tradition and forge their own paths forward and their legacy is to spread the word of their message. They also tend to enjoy travel and may struggle to stay in one place for a long period of time.

Third Quarter – These individuals are always striving to find their purpose. Often they may find themselves in mid-life making a drastic career or lifestyle change that baffles those around them. They may abruptly change course driven by instinct and urgency to find new forms of expression and new belief systems.

Balsamic – Finally our balsamic moon babes tend to be good at leaving. They come into this life as those who are ready to complete major cycles and tie up karma from past incarnations.  These people are usually loners and selective about the company they keep. A few close friends are plenty for these individuals. Success tends to come later in life after a lot of reflection and they tend to pass on wisdom of experience combined with a clear vision of the future.

So that’s the basics. With astrology it gets much more complex based on what sign your moon is in and what house but, I think it’s so fascinating that you can see personality traits just from the moon phase that you were born in.

I was born under a waxing crescent moon and I would say that description fits me very closely. To say that I’m a cautious explorer is just about as accurate as you can get. Leaving the career I’ve been in for the past twelve years was very out of character for me and has been an adventure in learning to be patient and not knowing what is coming next.  

Since this is my first year in business, I don’t really have a blueprint and it’s been challenging to try to allow things to ebb and flow until I figure it out. That said, I am nothing if not enthusiastic about all of my work and about having the privilege to be able to take this time to build my business; to best refine, express and share my gifts and purpose.

If you have been here the whole time or just found the blog, had a reading or a reiki session with me, liked or shared a post, been a cheerleader or a listening ear for me to talk out new ideas, or just a happy blog reader along for the ride, I just want to say a profound thank you. I am so grateful that you are here.

Also a very big thank you to my dear friend, J, without whom, you would be reading many more typos and errors in these posts.  She generously edits this blog every week and has been there rooting me on every step of the way.  

Wishing all of you a very happy holiday season and a healthy and safe new year.  Keep your eyes peeled later this week for a bonus email post to prepare for the new year. This is an exclusive for those on my email list so if you haven’t joined yet, you can below.

Energetic Blind Spots and Setting Good Boundaries

I just noticed a blindspot.

A real theme of my journey has been setting boundaries in all areas of my life. I really make it a point to take good care of mine. I meditate. I do clearing and visualizations. I do my Empath’s sorting meditation to clarify my energy and establish what is me and what is not.

Especially since May when I started doing my energy work and tarot full-time, I made a real point about setting my boundaries at the beginning of the day. I cleared myself between clients. Even on admin days I made a point to ground and clear myself a few times a day.

So when a few weeks ago I started having this crazy back spasm that would not let up, I was baffled. 

I went to my acupuncturist. I got needled, cupped, and guashaed.  But to no avail. I was having a major spasm in my left mid-back. When I twisted I could barely breathe.

We tried for a couple weeks to clear it out but I was still struggling to get my full range of motion back.

I was chatting with another medium friend the other day and telling her about my struggle and she said “It looks like you have attachments stuck there. It’s like you have these people carefully stored away.”

“I have been so good about it clearing myself between sessions and keeping my energy in check. I teach people about this!”

But my protest didn’t matter. She saw what she saw and I was back to trying to figure out what was wedged in there.

You ever have that feeling when you get a little too big for your britches and think you couldn’t possibly have missed something?

What my friend said bothered me all day.

So a few nights ago when I was meditating before bed, I settled in and focused on the pain.

“WHAT ARE YOU! What is going on?!”

I asked my guides what was happening and why I couldn’t seem to shake this no matter how hard I tried and that’s when I heard one of my guides say, it’s not you picking it up, it’s your partner.

I had a blind spot.

I have really strong boundaries with just about everyone else in my life.  When it comes to my boyfriend of five years, I have a bit of energy exchange going on that I wasn’t fully aware of.

I realized that in my sleep, I was taking on stuff he was worried about or things that he was holding on to.  

I should have realized because I tend to get a back spasm in the same area when we have had bad fights in the past.  It should have rung a bell, but I suppose we all have blind spots.

Cyndi Dale talks about this in her book Energetic Boundaries: How to Stay Protected and Connected in Work, Love, and Life. She speaks about how difficult it can be to maintain healthy energetic boundaries in our closest relationships. She speaks about how empaths and energetically sensitive people have a tendency to do a bit of energetic labor for the people they love.  We take things on so that our friends, families, and partners feel better.

Of course I could not figure out why I couldn’t shake this issue. I made such a serious self-care commitment to boundaries and healthy client relationships. It’s taken a lot of work to get to a point where I feel like I am not taking on too much for other people. This revelation really woke me up to some of the places where I have been falling back into old patterns.

It’s hard in relationships because we want to be open and vulnerable and allow the other person to be as well. I think as energetically sensitive people and empaths we really need to be mindful of maintaining our boundaries.  Not to keep everything out but to keep us from taking on too much for our partners. That type of exchange can lead to unexplained resentment and body pain.

You can have healthy boundaries and still allow love in and out. You can still be supportive without taking on their frustration, grief, and anger for them.

I’m not telling you this to scare you. I’m telling you because you might have a blind spot of your own.  This is why energy work is so important. Having someone else to be a point of reference when you’re feeling confused or struggling to get perspective.

There are so many ways we exchange energy with the people we love.  Even when you have seemingly healthy boundaries, we can miss the ways we take things on and do some of the energetic labor for the people we are closest to.

I’ve been able to clear that energy out and establish a better exchange between myself and my boyfriend and I will continue to evaluate the way in which I might be taking stuff on for him.  It takes a lot of checking in and evaluating daily, when I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning, to make sure I didn’t do it in my sleep.

It might feel uncomfortable at first to hold yourself back from doing the energetic labor that you usually do for the people around you. You might feel like you’re being cruel or robotic. This is the work.  Instead of focusing on what you can take on, focus on just listening to them. It is a powerful thing, just to bear witness to another person’s experience. Being there, staying present, and seeing them as they are is just as powerful and it won’t leave you feeling drained or emotionally exhausted.

I hope you are all thriving this holiday season. I encourage all of you to use the free Empath’s Sorting Meditation after overwhelming events with family, friends or coworkers. I cannot stress enough the importance of clearing your energy this way after stressful interactions.

Also, If you are anxious about the year ahead, there are still some openings for 2020 Year Ahead Tarot Readings as well as New Year’s Release and Initiation Reiki and Tarot Combo packages to launch you into the new year with balanced energy and focused attention.

Love and Light and Spiritual Bypassing through the Holidays

I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole love and light movement. This is so much a part of the yoga world and the communities of healers that I work among..

I think it’s great to encourage people to focus on the positive and be grateful and I fully believe that your mindset has a huge impact on your life.  But I get really concerned with the amount of spiritual bypassing that goes on in this community because it alienates people who are suffering and continues to victimize people who are marginalized.

If you’re not familiar with the term, spiritual bypassing refers to using spiritual ideas (like manifestation) to sidestep the heavier emotional issues and psychological wounds that exist in our lives. Basically it’s using spiritual practices like gratitude to just power through uncomfortable things.  

Love and light messages are prolific in the social media age.

 It sounds good. It looks lovely.  It’s very Instagram-able.

Let’s be honest though, it’s not real life.

Real life can be heavy and messy; It’s rife with injustice, grief, racism, and white-supremacy.  The real work isn’t just in being positive and celebrating the good stuff, it’s also in the dark.

Shamanism isn’t in my lineage, so I don’t use the term for myself, but I love  that the word shaman translates to “one who can see in the dark”.  

That phrase really blew my mind when I heard it because it spoke to the part of me that has always seen the dark in things. I’ve seen the way people breeze over difficult topics and try to grin a bear it. I’ve seen the way that grief or anger attaches to people and becomes the filter through which they see the world, even as they show a brave face and well filters photos.

When I was young I had a tendency to get bogged down by the heaviness of other people’s lives.  I didn’t know I was an empath. I don’t think I was even conscious of my own existence until I was six.  I walked around reading people most of the time. Noticing things about other people. Seeing bits and pieces of their stories.  I only recently recalled how out of body I felt for much of my childhood. 

I vividly remember looking at the little girl in the car next to us at a red light and seeing bits and pieces of her story.  Then a voice in my head said “what about you?”. And then I was back in myself. 

I thought that was normal.  That everyone knew and saw and heard the stuff that I did.

I now know that isn’t true.

The reason I wanted to talk about all of this love and light bullshit now is because the holidays are really challenging for people.  It’s not all presents and eggnog and singing together.

The holidays can bring with them grief and darkness and heaviness and comparison.  Over the past few weeks we’ve talked about the challenges that empaths face at the holidays, but you don’t have to be an empath to feel the intense pressure of expectation and the crushing weight of grief.

Last month I did a special death card tarot embodiment workshop. I was so excited to do it and I really felt I was being guided to share it but, I was hesitant because I know this card strikes fear into so many people.

What was interesting is that when we think about grief, we think that physical death is the only thing that we grieve. I hear echoes of this same idea every time I pull this card for someone.  But, grief is much bigger than just an emotion that accompanies this type of loss.

Grief comes with all loss.  We grieve friendships we no longer have. We grieve relationships. We grieve careers that aren’t in line with our values.  We grieve the loss of parts of ourselves that no longer serve us. And we grieve our inner child who is wounded and just wants to do everything right so they can get the validation they yearn for.

I’ve noticed that people have a resistance to labeling all of these things as grief but that is exactly what they are. The heaviness, the crying, the inability to take a deep breath, or to look directly at the thing that hurts. It can come out in anger and rage, or in despair and sobbing.   It can sneak up on us just from the sheer volume of exposure to triggering situations. There is no clear cut process and no neat way to tie it all up.

It is heavy and messy and as humans we don’t like anything we can’t easily classify and put a bow on.

In any given moment when you are around your family you might find yourself grieving your younger self, relatives who have drifted away from the family, or the fact that your parents or partner can’t be who you wish they would be.

You might also suffer from depression or anxiety and struggle with putting on a good face for your family and friends.

I am right there walking beside you, my friend.  I see you and I relate so deeply to your struggle and I know that it might take all you have to be around everyone else and feel pressure to look, act, feel better than you do underneath.  

I am doing very well now, but I suffered with severe depression, insomnia, and anxiety for years. I took medications, switched medicines a bunch of times until I found the right combo, rebalanced, went to therapy.  I faked it with family and friends and sometimes I raged out, screamed, and felt ashamed. I have sat in a stew of my own grief and loneliness while everyone around me seemed great.  

I honor you and what you are going through and the heaviness of the expectation that you are probably putting on yourself to be well or to appear to be well.

I am telling you that you don’t have to do that anymore if you don’t want to. 

Struggling and feeling the heavier, darker things does not mean that you aren’t walking your own spiritual path, or that you are doing anything wrong. It also means that you don’t have to be consumed by those feelings and that you can prepare by arming yourself with more coping tools.

It takes tremendous bravery to feel your way through the darkness and to sit with the heaviness in your heart and honor it.  Look at where you’ve been and where you are now. You would not be who you are without the journey and you don’t need to be a happy-go-lucky, light and love type of healer, reader, teacher, parent or partner.

You can just be yourself.  You can just come to the table with the real things you have been though and offer them up.

This isn’t to romanticize suffering, but instead to say that it is okay to not be the instagram-ready, perfectly put together, happy-go-lucky version of yourself.  It’s okay to come to the table as you are and not just how you’re expected to be.

You don’t have to be all love and light to be walking your own healing path.

You aren’t weird and you aren’t broken if you feel sad when it seems like you should be happy.

I’ve been alone in the dark, too.  I’ve felt the grief, the imposter syndrome, the money anxiety, the deep desire for parental approval, and the grief of knowing I won’t be met with the things that I need, even during the holidays.

Sitting in this dark.  Processing and acknowledging these feelings, gives us depth and a complex understanding of ourselves as well as compassion for ourselves and for others.  It makes us stronger and more authentic healers, parents, and partners. It makes us more complete people.

So the next time you are tempted to shove down the darkness to make yourself or other people comfortable, do yourself a favor and stop.

You’re doing the work and you are feeling your way through the darkness.  It doesn’t have to be pretty. Just keep going and know that you aren’t walking alone. 

Holiday Gift Ideas for your Woo-Woo Friends

The Holidays are upon us. I feel like I blinked and now it’s December. Time flies when you are having fun.

A friend of mine asked me for some gift ideas for someone who is really into “witchy stuff”.  So I though maybe you could all use some ideas for your favorite witchy friend.

I am so into this really cool hand-printing and reading kit from Hand Full of Stars. (On sale for $29 at amazon right now)

As a Sagittarius rising you know I”m all about a gift that inspire learning. Palmistry is something I don’t know much about but I did hear Helene talk about her journey into Palmistry on a podcast recently and her approach was so down to earth that I just knew I would relate.  This is not only a cool gift, but also a social one. Something the whole family can enjoy or that you can whip out next time your friends are over.

This Earth’s Elements Crystal Water Bottle is one I use every single day. The crystals are in a separate compartment than the water but they work to infuse your water with the energy of the crystals.  

I actually got this as a gift from friends when I started my business and I was skeptical but I do find that it helps keep me balanced daily. Especially on days when I’m working back to back, it helps keep me clear and grounded.  My bottle is actually the chakra balancing model but I love that I can swap the stones out whenever for a little boost of whatever type of energy I need. So If I’m working with self-love, I might swap in some rose quartz or when I’m looking to open my mind I might put some green aventurine in there.

Another great option is gifting a nice piece of crystal jewelry is also a great option.  I am lucky to have two good friends who both make beautiful pieces. What I really love about these is that they are all custom and one of a kind and you can choose something specifically for the energy of your loved one.

My friend Karen makes some really cool stuff.  You can find her over on Instagram @ Karsjules.  I have a couple pieces from her that I just love and I also love her story.  After her Dad passed away, she needed something to busy her mind and her hands. She turned her hobby into a wonderful little side business with her reiki infused crystal jewelry.

And I can’t talk about crystals without talking about my dear friend and partner in LIVESTREAM crime, The Spirit Stone.  She has some really cool little teeny crystal terrariums and necklaces that juuuust went live in her shop. She and I go way back and we love talking all things spiritual.  We even have a holiday LIVESTREAM coming up on where you can check out all kinds of crystal deals and fun spirit chat. You n find detail over on my instagram @starsagespirit or in my email newsletter by signing up for email.

Of course we can’t forget tarot decks.  All of these decks have been on my wish list for a while.

The Modern Witch Tarot – This deck is a more inclusive deck which I love but I’m also into all the bright colorful imagery.  I’ve had my eye on this one for a few months. Maybe Santa will get me this one.

The Light Seers Tarot – This deck comes out tomorrow and I’ve been drooling over the creator Chris-Anne’s instagram, loving all of the art on these cards. It’s a beautiful deck and I connected with the imagery immediately.

The Tarot de Marseilles – A classic for tarot readers but not one I currently have.  A lot of people learn on this deck and it is one of the most commonly used around the world.  Nothing wrong with a classic.

And it wouldn’t be a gift list from me if it didn’t include a few books.  

Beyond Past Lives by Mira Kelley. This isn’t a new book, but i just read it this year.  I loved the exercises in Mira’s book and her approach to understanding past lives and their connection to our current lives.  As someone who often does past life healing with clients, this book resonated so strongly with me and with things I felt that I struggled to put into words.

The Illusion of Money by Kyle Cease.  This book is one I go back to very often.  It is a great reminder of how backwards we have everything as a society.  Time is limited and money is abundant. This book has been a huge one in shifting my money mindset and embracing a life much more in alignment with my values.

Energy Medicine by Dr. Jill Blakeway – As someone who has a tendency toward the logical I absolutely loved this book.  She explains the science of energy medicine in a way that is clear and expresses how little we know and how much is still out there waiting to be discovered.  This book inspires fascination and wonder.

And last but certainly not least, the gift of Reiki or tarot from yours truly.  Several folks took me up on my 2020 Year Ahead Tarot Special and New Years Release and Intitiation Reiki Tarot Combo but I still have some sessions left. If you would like to have your session in December please book sooner rather than later as I will be taking some time off over the holidays.

I hope this helps you either create your own little holiday wish list or shop for someone you love.  Let me know in the comments what is on your list this year.

Surviving the Holidays as an Empath Part 2

Welcome back!

Last week we talked all about the more practical ways to set boundaries for the holidays.  Today we are going to talk all about energetics and the more woo-woo side of managing your energy through the holidays.

When I first started experiencing my energetic gifts of intuition and mediumship, I was a mess. I didn’t know where I ended and other people began

The following are the real techniques I used to clean up my act and set good boundaries.

First, meditation and mindfulness.  Now, I know that no one wants to hear that they should meditate.  In the beginning, anytime someone suggested this to me I immediately went to “SCREW YOU! YOU TRY SITTING WITH ALL OF THIS STUFF! MEDITATION IS THE WORST!” I would roll my eyes so hard I was afraid I would dislocate my eyeballs when someone suggested this. But then I tried it.

I learned something interesting.  The reason that meditation felt so unbearable is because I was sitting around holding everyone’s energy and everyone’s emotional baggage. When I sat down and got quiet i would feel spirit stuff, and friend’s grief, and my boyfriend’s tough day, and my own feelings but everything was all mixed up in this giant energetic ball that I wanted to shove down and ignore.

When I pushed through the initial discomfort, I gained so much clarity. With guidance from spirit, I was able to start sorting through and releasing the things that weren’t mine. This process made it so clear to me what MY OWN ENERGY felt like.  


I start with this because it is the absolute most important thing you can do for yourself.  It is the tool that all other tools come from. I use this sorting meditation all the time. I have a free download of it when you “opt in” to my email list (you should get a pop up on this page to join so check your pop-up blocker).

I highly recommend starting there but if you’re certain that meditation is not for you, or maybe just not right now, I do have a few other options.

Another great option is to try a grounding exercise.

My favorite is a white light and grounding exercise.  It is a simple visualization exercise that only takes a minute or two. You can do it in the middle of a party or sneak away for a second and clear out anything that doesn’t work for you.  It’s inspired by something I learned in “medium school” and I use it in a lot of my workshops and in between clients. I also use it after any family events or holidays parties.

Start by just closing your eyes.  Imagine white light coming in through the crown of your head. You can imagine it’s God, universal energy, angels, whatever speaks to you. This light comes through the crown of your head, fills your whole head and begins to move down through the neck and through the rest of your body.  As it moves through it gathers anything that is not yours. Any energy you’ve picked up from other people, any stress or anxiety that isn’t yours and it presses it all the way down your body, through your feet and then passes safely through the ground. It moves all the way to the center of the earth where it is turned into more beautiful white light and that goes out into the universe.  

Then I imagine roots growing down from my feet into the ground.  The roots spread, growing wider and more intricate and growing deeper. Through those roots you pull energy, nutrients and even knowledge from your ancestors back up into your body.  Draw up so much that that energy comes all the way back to the crown of the head. These roots give your energy, structure and establish your connection to yourself and the earth.

Sometimes during this quick visualization you might feel some tingling in the body or hot and cold sensations, or swirling.  Don’t panic. That’s just the energy moving around your body and bringing you back to balance.

All in all this short visualization only takes about a minute.  The more you practice it, the faster you will get. They best part about it is that you can do it anywhere.

Just this quick exercise of coming back to yourself after being exposed to so much energy will help you start to identify what is yours and what isn’t.

Finally, mantra can be a great way to ground yourself and begin to bring awareness to your own energy.

This was one of my most frequent tools when I was going through my spiritual awakening. Particularly when I felt a spirit trying to get my attention and give me a message; I got very anxious so I started repeating this mantra over and over to myself.

Sky above. Earth below. Me right here.  God above, below, around, within, keep me safe and calm.

Every time it brought me back to my body and it stopped any panic that I felt coming up.  It also brought awareness to my physical body.  

Obviously you don’t need to use the same mantra, you can make your own and I encourage you to do so.  Mantra is a great way to bring focus to your mind when it’s spinning out. It interrupts the stories we tell ourselves and brings us back to reality.

Every technique I suggested above is something I use personally in my own life and something that has helped me to bring awareness to my own energy field and reinforce boundaries.  I truly hope these techniques help you as you approach the holiday parties both personal and professional.

My hope is that these techniques enable to to not just survive, but THRIVE this holiday season!

I would love to hear about your experience with using these in the comments or you can email me and tell me all about it.

I also wanted to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has been giving feedback on how these techniques have helped and to everyone who signed up or gifted the New Years Reiki/Reading Combos to a friend.  I’m so excited to work with all of you.

In addition, If you are looking to do something fun this weekend, I will be at Aim High Studio (3015 W Germantown Pike, Norristown, PA 19403) in Collegeville, PA Saturday morning (11/30) giving readings, selling little energy-clearing bundles and gift certificates for small business Saturday.   I would love to see you there.

Surviving the Holidays as an Empath Part 1

Do you struggle with emotional and energetic boundaries around friends and family? 

I have been DOING SOME WORK on this in 2019. It’s been a critical part of my intuitive journey to set good boundaries to protect my energy and that starts with some practical everyday things that we all can do.

Today I offer some advice on surviving the holidays as an Empath.  No, not just surviving, THRIVING!!  

Last week we discussed what makes you an empath so if you missed that blog, you can catch up here

Now that you know that you struggle with taking on other people’s energy, what do you do about it?

The holidays bring the added challenge of inundating us with a lot of events, a lot of people, and a lot of dysfunctional family patterns.  The challenge is being present while not burning yourself out.

So let’s talk about some strategies.

I like to start with my favorite strategy which is saying “no” to things or events that you just know are going to be too much.  Now, I know that this can be a particularly big challenge but maybe you could just challenge yourself to say “no” to one thing. Just to try it.  Test how it feels. You might feel some guilt but notice what is right behind that. If you are in a relationship, you can also make your partner the one that responds to events if you struggle with it.

There is also the time-limiting strategy.  If saying no is impossible or produces too much guilt, you can also set a time-boundary.  This is a great approach when you are just starting out. If you reflect on the past few years you might start to notice a pattern of when you start to feel overwhelmed. Maybe it’s after two hours, maybe longer.  Either way, if you can make the plan that you will arrive a little later than usual and leave a little earlier, you might find that you have much less anxiety going into the event.

Another great tactic is to prepare yourself ahead of time by scheduling breaks.  This can be as simple as giving yourself an hour to step away from everything and read your book.  It could be five minutes where you step into the other room and do some deep breathing. You could also choose to schedule a massage or energy work the day after you have a party.

You can also schedule some recovery time.  After any major events, you can schedule a day where you or you and your family are at home for the day.  You might be thinking, no i don’t have time I’m too busy. But this is where we come back to that saying “no” to things.  It will be okay if you don’t do every single holiday event. You will survive and so will your loved ones. Give yourself permission to schedule these breaks.  They will benefit all of you.

Finally we come to the reward/incentive strategy.  I fully admit this is a form of self-bribery and I approve of it 100%.  It acts as a reward and a light at the end of the tunnel. Schedule a massage, or a yoga workshop, or energy work before the season even starts.

The reason why I love this approach so much is threefold.  First, you have to calendar it so it’s already built into your schedule and if you want to cancel you will be met with the same resistance that you get when saying no to anything else so you’re more likely to keep the appointment. 

Finally, It can also help clear anything out of your system that you picked up in your time.  Massage can release tension from the muscles and promote relaxation. Energy work, like Reiki or acupuncture, can help you release any energy you picked up from friends or family during your interactions.  It can help to balance your own system and establish your own energetic boundaries.

To plan ahead for this, I have opened up my New Year Release and Initiation Reiki and Tarot combo.  I’m so excited to be doing this work as a combination. 

I always channel my offerings so that they are directed by spirit. As soon as I settled into meditation to plan my new year tarot offering, I kept hearing the message that I needed to include Reiki with this offering. The purpose of this is to help clear about any heaviness from 2019 and to provide direction for 2020.  The Reiki helps to move out any energy that is stagnant or out of balance. It allows the client to release anything stagnant that they are holding onto from the past year and bring in new creative, inspiring energy.  

This offering consists of both Reiki energy work, past life release, and a year ahead tarot spread.  This spread is very complex (20 cards!!) and it will give insights into the next year as well as the energy you will be working with throughout the new decade.  

These sessions span approximately two hours and it is the ultimate in self-care.  It’s so easy to get sucked into the holidays and the hype of the new year without ever making time for you. 

I totally get it.  Before you know it, it will be the end of January and you haven’t even thought about what you want from the year.  The benefit of this type of reading is that it will help you play to your strengths and give you momentum going into the new year (and decade).

I’m so incredibly excited as always to work with all of you.  Bookings are open now but spots are very limited. I’m only offering these sessions a couple times a week and I know that people have limited time over the holidays.  So if this offering speaks to you, please sign up early to save a spot. They will only be available through the end of January.

Link to schedule is below:

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