This week I want to talk about one of the common uses of Reiki. I’ve found so often that what I’m doing with this type of energy work is helping grief move through the body. There are so many forms of grief and they all hang out in our body and clog our energy fields.
You might notice a certain ache or pain that seems to come up whenever you’re aware of a certain sadness. Maybe you notice that ache or pain started right after a significant loss. Maybe you notice a certain ache or pain in your body whenever youargue with your partner.
Sometimes we even see grief in our posture. Maybe we have the sensation that our shoulders are slumped forward or we are finding ourselves with very closed body language whenever someone asks how we are. This can look like crossing your arms across your chest or hugging yourself like you got a sudden chill whenever someone offers you the opportunity to talk about what you have been through.
When I talk about heartbreak, I’m not just talking about romantic relationships ending, I’m talking about a lot of different types of heartbreak. Maybe you have ended a relationship with an employer, a family member, or maybe someone passed away. You might have even had a bad argument or disagreement with your partner that feels like you have a broken heart. Heart break isn’t always about endings.
Heartbreak is about us integrating a lesson and allowing ourselves to sit with the pain of losing who we were before, in exchange for stepping into the new version of ourselves. Maybe it’s the version of you that has one less parent, a new career, or more time alone
So how can Reiki help? Reiki helps to hold space and time for the grieving that you may or may not be aware of. Heartbreak always brings its own dose of grief. Sometimes we are very aware of its presence and it feels all-consuming. If this is your experience, Reiki may help you shift some of that weight off of your heart and move you forward towards acceptance.
If you are less aware of that grief, it could help you confront what you’ve been avoiding. Clients who fall into this camp often find themselves suddenly in tears at the beginning of the session when I am just doing a check in to see how they are feeling. Often, we don’t even realize grief until we pause and it has a chance to catch up to us.
A good energy work session is like coming home to yourself. It resets you back to your baseline. In these moments are where we find the most clarity.
So processing that grief can actually help us see the future more clearly and open our hearts to new possibilities and support that we need to move towards those possibilities. Grief acts like a kind of fog. When we are grieving, it can feel a bit like slogging through molasses; everything requires more effort. You might be dealing with brain fog or exhaustion. This is all very normal.
Our culture is particularly bad with dealing with grief and we often try to rush people through their sadness because it makes us uncomfortable. I hear clients often express that they “should” be farther along in their grieving process. “I should be over it by now.” “I should have moved on already.”
These are sentiments I hear echoed over and over. The truth is that we just need a little more time and space to process. Grief moves at our pace, not the pace of the world.
Reiki takes that pressure off and is great at moving the grief sensations through the body. In a session, I give time and recognition to the grief and allow the client to feel it in a safe and controlled environment. Usually just that recognition is enough to allow the grief to start to move out of the body. I’ve had clients who have come back after one session amazed at how quickly they felt better.
If you are working through grief or any other emotion and would like to schedule a distance Reiki session, I would love to work with you. You can book a session here.
I started reading at tarot parties almost two years ago. It started as a small part of my practice. I did a girls’ night here, a bachelorette party there. With everyone at home on lockdowns, this has become such a huge part of my business.
People are missing connection and are tired of just drinking and chatting on Zoom. I’ve been fielding a lot of questions around these parties so I thought it might be a good idea to share a post about what an online tarot party is like.
I do each party over Zoom because there’s a lot of flexibility through that platform and it’s worked amazingly so far. The party host schedules the time that’s best with me for groups of 4-11. Once everyone is on the call, I do a little intro about me and what I do. Many of my clients are first-timers so they sometimes have misconceptions about what happens during a reading or what they can or can’t ask about. So I use this time to set expectations and explain how the technology works.
Then, I place most of the group into a virtual breakout room and go into a separate breakout room with the person I am reading for. They get to have privacy for their reading.
We typically do a brief 15 minute reading before I swap them back into the other room with their friends and bring someone new in with me. You would be surprised how much you can learn in 15 minutes. Some people come in with specific questions they want answers on or an area of their life where they are looking for guidance. Others are just looking for a general reading.
I follow the same process until I’ve read for everyone.
I love this option because it still allows me to do a face-to-face reading and it honestly works the same as it does if the person is physically in the room with me. COVID-19 has forced us all to be creative but it has also allowed me to reduce my pricing for parties a bit because I don’t need to commute and I can read for anyone, anywhere in the world. I have met so many amazing people all over this country and even a few in Europe.
When we are finished our individual readings, I bring us all back into the main room and the excitement is palpable. Everyone has their own little reading to chat about. Usually everyone is having cocktails and really excited about what came up. Sometimes I answer a couple more questions before I hop off and leave the group to hang out as long as they like.
Especially in the age of so much distance, it’s nice to have something even deeper to connect over. I am still doing bachelorette parties, girls’ nights, birthday parties; any celebration that COVID-19 has put a damper on, I can help brighten up from afar.
Social distancing has really brought me a newfound understanding of the connection that these virtual gatherings provide for people. I’ve noticed clients open up to their friends more about what struggles or victories are coming up for them because so often, tarot is validating for people. After the reading, having the time to go back in and sit with friends and talk about what came up, has opened up whole new conversations for friends.
It’s amazing to see and be a part of these connections. And, at a time when things can feel very heavy, it has reinvigorated my passion for my work.. If you have any questions or are interested in a session you can send me an email at sheila at starsagespirit dot com. I would love to work with you.
Intuition works a little bit differently for everyone. I will speak strictly from my own experience today. This should in no way be seen as a catch-all.
Since I was really young I have always had a strong connection with my intuition. My mom would say I was a good judge of character. She saw that I was selective about friendships and I intentionally sought out kind people (many of whom I am still friends with 25 years later).
The truth is that I always knew stuff about people. I could see right through. I was very empathic. I felt other people’s emotions and intentions, and even before I was totally aware that I was doing so, I reacted to that information.
I describe it to this day as…what people really mean is right behind what they say. You have probably had the experience yourself, of meeting someone, and knowing they don’t like you. You know their face is saying one thing but you feel that intuitive impulse that they don’t really mean it. It’s similar to what we talked about last week.
So when I grew up feeling things from people, like when I was bullied in school, I would be hurt and frustrated but I always knew it was because they were sad, or scared, or embarrassed, and it made me braver. The more I trusted that feeling, the stronger it became and the easier it was to hear it.
Now that I’m grown, I listen for that same impulse and feeling. I am aware of my intuition in a totally different area in my body than when my brain is actively thinking about something. When I get that feeling, I pause for a moment and try to listen to what it’s telling me.
Sometimes I ask questions like: Am I feeling fear? Am I feeling a yes or no? Am I feeling like I need to wait?
I also have a lot of clairaudience, which means I hear a lot of signals. Sometimes my ears ring when I’m getting a message or feeling. Or I will know something about someone that will come in as if I’ve heard it. It’s less about actual hearing and more about how my brain becomes aware of it.
Even now I will think sometimes that a client has said something to me, for example, that they are an accountant. I will start talking about their accounting job and they will look bewildered and say “I didn’t tell you I was an accountant.” I just shrug it off and tell them it happens all the time.
So sometimes that’s how I notice my intuition but there are a lot of different senses of intuition. I also sometimes physically feel things. This happens in Reiki sessions most often. I will start working on someone and notice I’m getting a pain somewhere in my body. Sure, enough when I ask them about it, it’s something that is going on in their body.
I also sometimes have an unexplainable sense of something. Perhaps I spend time with someone I’m close to and I suddenly know something about them. It’s not intentional. It just pops into my head out of nowhere. I can’t explain why or how. This can be the hardest sense to hone because we often write off thoughts that aren’t backed up by a story of how we know it or why we know it. We get stuck in trying to logically figure it out rather than just listening.
I realize you’re probably sitting there thinking, Sheila, that’s just you. I can’t do those things. I barely even trust what people tell me.
I understand. Listening to your intuition is a vulnerable thing. You open yourself up to something you’re not instantly good at and it can bring up a lot of feelings of inadequacy. This is why we practice.
That is the entire reason that I developed my High Priestess Embodiment Workshop. This workshop is open now. It is entirely virtual and combines lecture, meditation, journaling and a mini yoga practice to help you get in touch with your own intuition. You will also have the opportunity to ask any questions that come up and get answers via a Q & A recording after the course closes. You don’t need any tarot training or understanding as this is an intuition workshop and you have permanent access so you can go back and access it again at any time you need a refresher. Training is open now but only until July 3rd at 11:59 PM ET. You can read more about it and sign up here.
Last week I was chatting with a friend who was having a hard time in her relationship.
“I know, I am ignoring my intuition. I get an impulse and I dig my heels in and do the opposite. I feel like I’m afraid of my intuition, is that a thing?”
It reminded me of something that so many of my clients go through. It’s something I go through all the time.
What happens when our intuition shows up and we feel afraid of it? So I wanted to dig into this today. Here are three reasons why you might be afraid of your intuition:
When we experience this there are a few reasons why we might be feeling some fear about trusting ourselves.
The first is that we were taught not to trust ourselves from the time we were young.
Most of life has conditioned us to outsource our wisdom to people with more experience. Teachers, pastors, and parents are who we learn to trust first. We go to school or church, or even at home someone tells us how to get dressed, tie our shoes, count to ten, and we are indoctrinated into a system that teaches us to trust others more than ourselves.
Now, I’m not hating on traditional education but it is only in the past year or two that mindfulness has been taught in schools, giving children a much needed sense of agency and a better understanding of listening to self.
We grow up not really having an understanding of why it’s important to listen to our own intuition because society doesn’t value it. So when you get an intuitive impulse, you might feel afraid because it may feel like challenging authority.
Trauma can also be a culprit.
If you experienced trauma in your childhood, in particular, you might have a harder time developing your sense of reality. If someone was making you doubt yourself constantly as you were growing up, it can be very challenging as an adult to trust your impulses because you’re afraid of being wrong again, or you’re afraid of the consequence of being wrong.
Similarly, if you experienced trauma as an adult, you may have a strong distrust of your intuition because you feel that it led you wrong. When you start to notice it coming up, you may feel triggered because that sensation reminds you of the bad thing that happened.
This kind of distrust can be hard to break through, but it is UNDERSTANDABLE. If you find yourself in this place, don’t force it. Offer yourself compassion in those moments. There’s no need to be open to intuition if you aren’t ready for it yet.
Being awake to our intuition means having to do something about it.
Ignorance is easy. Being awake is hard.
Once you pay attention to your intuition, especially if you’ve been ignoring it for a while it can come in more like a flood than a trickle, which is very overwhelming. Our intuition is always asking us to be true to ourselves.
Sometimes that means leaving behind people, places, or work that you have loved for a long time. Sometimes people you are close with can’t go along with you, or don’t understand you the same way they once did. No one wants to lose anything and intuition challenges us by pushing us out of our comfort zone.
It’s a bit of a Pandora’s box. Once you crack the lid, nothing is the same. It unravels possibilities.
So you might find yourself doing things to block your intuition like constantly having the radio on, or the TV blaring in the background, filling every waking moment with activity, or even abusing substances like alcohol or marijuana to help you tune out and relax.
These aren’t really sustainable options.
The key is learning how to tune in when you need it and tune out when you need a break. If you can get to a place where you have a good relationship with your intuition it can become like a super power, keeping you on track. When confusion comes up or when you’re faced with a decision you don’t know how to make, you can tune in and know right away what to do.
You might be saying, Sheila, this sounds really overwhelming. How can I start to take baby steps to trust my intuition without getting totally overwhelmed?
I’m so glad you asked! My High Priestess Embodiment Workshop opens next Monday, June 29th. This course is designed as a beginners guide to intuition and will help you recognize the signals that your body sends you when your intuition is trying to get your attention, how to tune in to the message, and how to stop second guessing yourself. If you want to stop being afraid and start to trust your intuition, you can sign up here.
Peeking my head up since I have been in a little book bubble. I have been reading up a storm lately and I’ve read some truly cool and witchy books. I thought it would be fun to put together a witchy summer reading for all of you. These are my favorites that I have tackled this year.
Initiated by Amanda Yates Garcia. I’m going to try to keep it cool but, I am a total fangirl. This book is not only incredibly interesting, but also beautifully written. Garcia tells her coming of age story, raised as a witch on the west coast, and then later, all over. Her writing is breathtaking and so honest. I read this book in a day, and if you are a fellow intuitive, you will probably relate to the expression of underworld journeys and struggles with self-doubt.
You Were Born for This by Chani Nicholas. This book is like a beginner’s guide to astrology and I particularly like the simplicity of Chani’s teachings because I’m somewhat of an astrology beginner. She also gives you a quick guide on her website to read different aspects of your chart which I found very helpful. This book is part haunting, self-discovery memoir and part guide to your own personal astrology. Equal parts heart-breaking and empowering and another one that I read in a day. The fun bonus of this, is that if you have the birth time and place of friends or loved ones you can also get insights about them as well; perfect for happy hour socialising.
Auras: The Anatomy of the Aura (A Start Here Guide for Beginners) by Eliza Swann. I heard Eliza on my mentor Sarah M. Chappell’s podcast and I just loved everything she had to say about magic. This book is exactly as it says, a beginners guide to understanding energy fields and how to read them. I love the variety of approaches to understanding energy fields in this book. This variety is indicative of an experienced teacher, since so much of energy reading and healing is individual and totally personal. This book will give you the tools to get started. While it’s not the lightest read, it offers practical exercises to start developing your skills and I loved all of the diagrams and step by step guides. Also, because of those guides, I do recommend getting the old-school, paper copy of this book so that it’s easier to go back and reference.
Conjure Women by Afia Atakora. This book is a work of fiction but a beautiful depiction of the way that magic is passed down through generations in a family. Spanning several generations from before the civil war to post war struggles with violence against newly freed black people in the South. This book paints a beautiful picture of the bonds of women and it made me cry multiple times.
Untamed by Glennon Doyle. I know, it’s a basic bitch beach read but it is also brutally honest and very well written. Get ready to laugh, cry, and dog-ear the heck out of what might be the most quotable book I’ve read this year.
The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel. This is the first fiction book on the list and while it’s not directly about witchy stuff, it does involve a crime and a character who is haunted by a literal ghost from his past. (Fun fact: Emily St John Mandel also wrote a book, Station Eleven, about a global pandemic back in 2015, so she may just be a little witchy herself.)
The Fake Date Agreement by Tanya Gallagher. This is outside of the witchy realm and I admit it, this is a shameless plug for my dear friend Tanya’s book. We went to high school together in the suburbs of Philadelphia and we have stayed friends since. Her latest book is joyful and fun and brings total Christmas in July vibes and is perfect for a long day at the beach or an afternoon in your backyard hammock.
That’s all I have for you today. I would love to hear what’s on your witchy summer reading list. What did I miss? Let me know in the comments so that I can add it to my summer reading list.
PS. While I’ve included links to the amazon pages for each book, I recommend ordering through your local bookstore or library rather than putting more money into Bezos’ pockets.
As a privileged cis white woman in this world, and especially as someone who does healing and spiritual work, I felt it was important for me to speak to what’s going on in the world.
Until a month ago, most of my clients have been people I know personally, and those who were referred by clients. If you have met me in person, it’s unlikely that you wouldn’t know where I stand on all things. As a good friend of mine said, “You have no opinion that you don’t feel a need to share.” Blame it on my Leo sun or my Sagittarius rising or even the call for justice and balance that I get from my libra moon. I am a woman of conviction and an advocate for those who are oppressed.
But in the past few months I’ve brought in a whole new bunch of clients who have only met me over the internet or through social media posts. I’ve also seen some people stop following me after all of my sharing of content by black craters and activists this week.
First of all, let me say that I am ashamed that it might be unclear from my website who I serve and what my philosophy is. I am embarrassed that it took this kind of violence in the world for me to recognize that I am not as transparent in my beliefs as I think I am. I have not been actively anti-racist and I am pushing myself to do better.
I want to be clear when I say that I believe in the Black Lives Matter Movement. I have lived a privileged life and I have seen blatant racism play out in front of my face on numerous occasions. I am horrified by the mass incarceration of black people in this country, the murder of unarmed black men and women by the police, and the casualty with which these things are viewed as someone else’s problem by white people.
I have extensive trauma-informed training that I apply in both my yoga practice and my healing practices but I am continuing to train with black teachers and healers to learn more about being inclusive and understanding forms of trauma that I have not personally experienced. I know that training from a variety of sources will make a more well-rounded healer and a better ally for black folks in my community.
It is with great humility that I continue to learn from people who are experts in anti-racism work and dismantling white supremacy. I am continuing to read and reread resources that I have found helpful for understanding and dismantling my own privilege. I will continue to seek out teachers who teach about trauma-informed practices that aren’t just based on the white experience. I will continue to learn from mistakes I have made and take correction from people with more experience.
Since the start of the pandemic I have been donating 50% of workshop proceeds to local food banks, but I want to do more going forward. Because I am still newer to my business and don’t have as much income consistency as I would like, I am looking into ways that I can donate my time and energy. My goal is to find ways that are long term and sustainable and will grow and scale with my business.
As it stands, I plan to offer scholarships to workshops and trainings, specifically reserved for BIPOC students. This is something that I know I can commit to long term and that I can scale as my business grows. I will also continue to donate a percentage of my income to charities like the The Loveland Foundation and Therapy for Black Girls. Mental health care is particularly near and dear to my heart and an area where black women are underserved.
You will also now find this statement on my website:
As a facilitator of healing, I believe it is my responsibility to stay open and hold space for your experiences without judgement. My practice is trauma-informed and anti-racist. I accept people of all backgrounds therefore my space is one that is safe for LBGTQIA clients and I strive to be non-harmful toward BIPOC clients. Know that when you have a session with me, you have no need to explain yourself or defend your experience. I honor whatever your experience is and I meet you exactly where you are. Know that wherever you are coming from, whatever pain you are working through, my space is not one where you need to minimize your feelings or carefully select your words. You can just be who you are. I am an imperfect person but I continue to learn and grow and I will continue to do my best to make my healing work a place where all people, and especially those marginalized, feel welcome. I continue to listen deeply and learn from you.
Finally, I would like to offer the following resources for those interested in anti-racism work.
Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad. I read this book last year but I am rereading it now and getting even more out of it. Layla’s work is challenging and confronting and provides real steps for you to dismantle your own internalized white supremacy.
A Lifetime in Quarantine with Sabia Wade (@theblackdoula) – Trauma Skills and Nervous System Understanding for BIPOC. This training on Somatic Work and Nervous System regulations was presented by all BIPOC teachers and taught me so much about different skills for regulating that were outside of my past trauma and PTSD trainings, which have mostly centered around the white experience. I cannot express how moving, helpful, and cathartic I found this training to be, even after all of my past trauma experience. This training is not currently open but when it does open back up I HIGHLY recommend purchasing it.
Skill in Action with Michelle Cassandra Johnson. This is not a course I have personally taken yet but I have several peers who have and speak very highly of her work. It is something that is on my list and that I plan on taking by the end of the year.
Thank you all for being a part of my community. I am honored to continue to do this work.
I’ve been teaching my tarot course to a group for the first time ever. Before this I only taught one-on-one but it’s so nice to see how people learn in a group and I have been loving it.
One of the consistent questions that comes up very often is “Why can’t I hear my intuition?”. Maybe you’ve said something like that yourself. Or maybe you’ve looked at a professional reader and wondered how they do it. How do they hear or see something?
Our instinct is always to try harder. More effort will produce results. If I just think harder, if I just meditate harder, if I just keep trying, I will make my intuition work by sheer force of will.
Unfortunately this is the exact behavior that makes it so hard to hear our intuition.
We are conditioned to that. We grow up believing hard work pays off and if we haven’t seen the results we want then we should just work harder. It’s okay that our first instinct is to go to our trained behavior.
The truth is that it’s less effort that actually helps. I think prayer is us asking a question to God, Source, The Universe, your higher self (pick your fave) and meditation is listening for the answer. Intuition is what happens in the middle. When we start to relax, we are able to hear little impulses or messages coming through.
Our only job is to notice what comes up.
The reason it’s so hard for us to hear our intuition is because we are trained to ignore it. We are trained from the time we are very young to outsource our wisdom. We go to school and church. We learn from our parents. All of that is really important. What we miss out on is the ability to learn and experiment with what is best for us. We aren’t taught to listen and to hear our own intuition.
I fully believe we can return to this inner hearing with a little guidance and practice. So often what I’m doing in a tarot or Reiki session is validating what a client already knows intuitively. They just need to hear someone confirm it so they don’t feel crazy.
If you think that you can’t hear your intuition, I promise that it doesn’t mean that you don’t have it or that it’s not talking to you.
In fact, I bet I can prove it to you right now. We are most aware of our intuition when it is trying to keep us safe. So I bet you have had an experience that you couldn’t explain that goes something like this: You meet someone for the first time and just had a bad feeling about them right away. You don’t know anything about them but something just feels “off”. They are perfectly nice to you and seem personable and normal. You immediately ignore it and just assume you’re being judgemental or jealous.
And what happens when we get those impulses? We start explaining them away. Maybe I just saw something that looked off. Maybe it was a coincidence. Our brains are lazy and they want to logically explain things that don’t make sense away.
Maybe you start a friendship or relationship with that person only to find out, a short time later that they are actually manipulative or a liar, or even violent. Then you blame yourself, for not knowing better because you had that “off” feeling early on and wouldn’t trust it.
So then we end up right back where we started – confused, not trusting our intuition, or just plain thinking we don’t have it. And the cycle continues until we start to interrupt it and train ourselves to listen to and question those intuitive impulses.
This month I am opening the doors again to my High Priestess Embodiment Workshop that is a training entirely on how to connect to your intuition. The High Priestess is the card that reminds us of our ability to connect to our intuition in any moment to find what’s best for us. This workshop is entirely virtual and combines lecture, meditation, journaling and a mini yoga practice to help you get in touch with your own intuition. You don’t need any tarot training or understanding as this is an intuition workshop. If you are interested in learning more you can sign up for the waitlist here to be the first to know when the doors open.
I can hardly believe it’s been a year since I left my corporate job and went full time with Star, Sage & Spirit. As much work as it is it does feel a bit like I blinked my eyes and year flew by. Hard to believe that I wrote my first big post over a year ago. I was so scared to put it out there and just look at me now!
I am so proud of what I’ve done this year. For the first time I can remember, I gave myself some time to rest. I took a couple months over the summer to actually chill out. For as long as I could remember, I was a person with multiple jobs. Becoming my own boss allowed me the true luxury to have time to think about what I really wanted to be doing with my time and energy. I am so grateful that I got to do that because I really needed it.
By the time the fall rolled around I was busier than I had ever been. October is a big time of year as a tarot reader but I really packed it in with a Spiritual Expo, a residency at Chaddsford Winery, workshops, speaking at two different events and yoga teacher training.
Over the past year I’ve done readings and treatments for hundreds of people, I’ve taught 300 + yoga classes, and quite a few workshops. I also launched my first online workshop with my High Priestess Tarot Embodiment workshop back in February and my first course, Practical Tarot for Everyday Intuitives which just started this month. I am so excited to be doing this work, and honestly happy that I already had the plans to take my work online this year.
Covid-19 threw a real wrench into my plans for the year in all realms of my business. As much business as I do online, a lot of my clients are dealing with ongoing challenges to their finances, child-care, and exhaustion.
I am very grateful that I made a plan for my year back in December that already included getting more of my business online. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to start from square one.
I am also grateful for my community. I have met so many other incredible soloprenuers this year and having that community back in my life has helped me feel more confident and less alone on this path. I’m a social person and community support has been one of the most important things for my growth this year. I have a wonderful community of friends who push me outside of my comfort zone and keep me accountable to myself.
This year has brought so many lessons for me and I wanted to share them today.
Lesson 1: No matter how much you want someone to show you the path, everyone has to cut their own.
No one has the exact blueprint for you, except for you. This is a tough pill to swallow for people like myself who love to have a blueprint for how things are done.
I wanted to know the right way. I read books, did a lot of business and marketing training, but ultimately I’m the boss. I have to decide how things work.
Sure, I’ve benefited from the help of other entrepreneurs and coaches, but largely when you work for yourself you have to be willing to adapt, let go of things that aren’t working.
Setting “work” hours was a simple and effective way to keep myself from losing my mind. It sounds silly but I learned this back when I started working from home at my last job. I am the type of person who will just work always if I don’t set some boundaries on my time. This kept me from scheduling clients at all hours and also forced me to step away from my work and do stuff for fun.
Lesson 2: You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.
Everyone has their own idea of how work is done. This goes across fields but I think it’s especially present in my tarot work. I spend A LOT of time taking apart the ideas and preconceived notions people have about tarot from religion and pop culture.
Some people come in expecting me to talk to their loved ones in spirit just because I’m a medium but in general I keep tarot separate from mediumship. To me they are two different channels. Sometimes a spirit might pop in but for the most part when I’m doing a tarot reading I am tuning in to the energy of the person sitting in front of me. I’ve had several people disappointed or frustrated because they don’t understand that being a medium isn’t just having a constant conversation with the other side.
I’ve learned to have more clear service descriptions and to enforce boundaries around that. Some people handle this better than others, and I have to accept that some people will always feel entitled to more of my time and energy. That is true no matter what job I’ve had.
However, the clarity that this has given me around my work has been invaluable. I’ve spent this year crafting and reworking my offerings into something much more clear and refined and now the clients that I have are very aware of what they are buying and are open and present for the work. I cannot understate how important this has been.
I was also fired from two different yoga studios over the past year. Both of those were because I wasn’t willing to bend to the will of people who wanted to make more profit off of my hard work.
I have always been a person that speaks up and asks questions when other people are afraid to. I don’t mind going first. That said, going first is tough. It often makes you the disrupter but I have made a point to always ask in a constructive way even when I understand. I received some truly nasty feedback, but I also know that it’s not really about me and that helped me bounce back.
The moment you make peace with people not liking you, is the moment you are free.
At the end of the day, you are the person that needs to feel comfortable with the energy exchange no matter what the job is. When you worry about people liking you, or what they think, you stop valuing your work in an authentic way.
Lesson 3: You have to LOVE the work.
I love my work. I have felt drawn to healing my whole life and it wasn’t until I found Reiki and energy work that it clicked.
I also love watching things come together for people with tarot. I often feel like I’m confirming thoughts or feelings my clients have and validating their own intuition. Watching people grow and trust themselves more has been such a gift.
This is also true with teaching tarot. Watching students begin to understand how their intuition works for them, trusting themselves, and having tools to better advocate for their needs has been so rewarding.
Being true to keeping the love alive did mean taking a step away from mediumship this year. While I do love the work and it has brought about profound transformation for me and others, It can also be very draining. In particular with everything going on right now with covid-19 I’ve had to take a step away from this work.
It is hard for me to keep my vibration high and keep a clear connection to the other side when I’m experiencing a lot of fear myself. It has also just been a very transitional time for A LOT of spirits which has made it difficult to hear through the noise.
Lesson 4: You have to be willing to shift over time.
(Insert COVID 19 joke here) Obviously this year has been one of having to let go of the formats we are used to and that has been true for many businesses. One of the things I’ve realized with switching to so much customer facing time, is that I’ve needed to shift my expectations of myself.
I’ve spent most of my career sitting at a desk so this was a big adjustment and I underestimated how tiring it can be to stay present when you’re face to face with clients. I’ve adjusted my schedule a lot. I have also shifted my offerings and noticed how much I enjoy teaching. It allows me to do the same things I do one on one but reach more people. This wasn’t my original plan when I started a year ago but I have adjusted and really loved teaching and building community.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from all of my healing work it is how much we all truly have in common. I hear similar struggles shared by so many clients and teaching in workshops, free training, and on online forums allow me to speak to these things that are so collective, and it helps us all feel less alone. Especially when we are physically isolated.
Lesson 5: Walk Your Talk
If you’ve been reading the blog you have seen me posting all about how I use tarot in my business but there’s a lot more that I do to incorporate my work into everyday life. I truly learn so much from my own spiritual practices that I work to share with students. Teaching from experience keeps me grounded and accountable to keep up my own work.
I even did my own business year ahead spread to celebrate.
Looks like the theme of the next year is going to be getting more clear about what I really want to be doing. Getting more comfortable with boundary setting when it comes to my work and being more discerning about what still feels in alignment for me and what I might need to let go of. I can still be a little guilty of doing a lot of free labor because I just want to help everyone so that’s been on my radar for a while.
I also see a greater opportunity to feel more stable. Although a lot changed this year and a lot of unexpected challenges came up, I think that I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t and how to give things up that aren’t working. This year looks like it will give me an opportunity to set up greater structure which will hopefully save me time and energy.
I also have made a point to find support in the areas where I struggle. So this year I’ve invested in some technology to make things easier and a tech support person for when I get stuck. There’s tremendous value in saving myself that stress, even if it’s a bit of a stretch financially.
Lesson 6: Be afraid but do it anyway
This is maybe the most important lesson I’ve learned so far. Growth only happens when you get outside of your comfort zone. I’ve done a lot of uncomfortable things this year. Putting myself out there on social media is scary. It opens me up to criticism and it brings me face to face with imposter syndrome but in those moments where I’m most scared, I know there’s a lesson on the other side. It’s usually not so scary once I actually do it.
I still have days when fear runs the show but they are fewer and farther between.
I am so grateful to be one year in. I’ve learned so much. I have the most incredible clients and students and I am so happy to be doing this work. I also have an incredible group of fellow entrepreneurs who have offered advice and community to me and I’m very grateful for them as well.
I also wanted to give a shoutout to my partner, Mike. He’s always here behind the scenes giving me hugs when I’m discouraged, editing my training videos and audio, and taking beautiful photos of me. Thank you for supporting my vision, even when I’m not great at articulating it.
Finally, in honor of my one year anniversary and to thank all of the amazing clients and friends who have supported me this year, I am offering a FREE online workshop this Friday, May 22nd at 1PM ET in partnership with Healers Wanted. My Lovers Card Tarot Embodiment workshop will teach a blueprint of how you can best advocate for the love and support you need in your life, not just from others, but also from yourself. You can sign up here.
Last Week I covered how I use tarot for timing in my business. Today I’m going to talk about how I use a simple three question spread to find focus when I’m feeling overstimulated or overwhelmed. These aren’t gimmicks. These are the real life spreads I use regularly.
Here is a picture of the spread:
I started by asking: Where should I direct my attention right now in my business? Eight of Coins. You might recognize this one from last week since it also came up in my last spread. I won’t get too into the weeds on explaining this because it’s higher level tarot stuff but it’s very relevant that the same card showed up in two different spreads about my business in the same day.
This card tells me that setting up sustainable systems and finding consistency in my daily work is most important right now. This is interesting since I’ve been spending a lot of time recently trying to set myself up for long term success with a heavy time and energy investment now. I’ve been working hard to break the habit of over-working and an addiction to business that I learned from sixteen years in corporate America.
My goal in leaving my corporate job was not to start my business and continue to work crazy hours and fill up any spare moment with more work. That is a habit I formed from working my full-time day job and running my business on the side while also teaching yoga.
This card is a reminder to set up a business that is individual to me and that it’s okay if it’s extra work on the front end to figure things out. That work will give me the schedule that I want long term, in order to feel stable and nourished.
Next I asked: How will this area help me grow? Ruler Of Coins (King of Coins). This card tells me that not only will it help me build longevity for my business but it was also help me develop consistent streams of income. King of Coins is about doing the work to find abundance and a sense of structure and wealth. This definition of wealth is not just about money, but also about wealth in different realms of life such as health, happiness, and relationships.
So not only will doing this work help me structurally in my business, but it will also help my attitude toward my work and help my career be supportive of me having a life outside of work as well. That’s what I need!
Finally, I asked where can I find support to move forward towards this stability: The Moon Reversed. This card is a clear sign of needing support and encouragement to face my fears. The moon is all about shadow work and walking alongside your fear, rather than letting it run your life. It gave me a good chuckle because I have been working with a group of lovely holistic entrepreneurs to help me with the launch of my first tarot course, and so much of what we do in the group is about talking through fears and breaking down limiting beliefs. It is a place I already know that I find a lot of support in navigating imposter syndrome and talking through technology problems.
I know that the relationships I’ve built with these folks over the past three months will continue as we all continue to grow our businesses going forward. I’m happy to know that this community will continue to be a reliable source of encouragement.
As you can see, this spread gives me clear direction on how to move forward, how those steps forward will help my business grow overall and where I can find support if I start to find myself derailed. The spread answers my questions and gives me an actionable path forward and ways that I can navigate challenges if they arise.
If you would like to learn to read tarot for yourself, my course, Practical Tarot for Everyday Intuitives, is a great way to get started. This is a seven week tarot course that helps you go from tarot newbie to tarot-reading wiz by using my tarot-informed decision making method to tune into intuition and move from indecisive-procrastinator to confident decision-maker. Registration is only open until May 8th at 11:59PM ET and won’t be open again until the fall. If you are being called to come home to your intuition and your own inner knowing this is a great place to start. You can sign up here.
Also, a quick reminder that virtual tarot readings, distance reiki sessions, and gift certificates make a great socially-distant Mother’s Day gift. You can purchase them by booking through my scheduling tab or you can send me an email if you want it to be a surprise.
Last week on the blog, I talked about one of the most popular readings I do with my clients and how Decision Maker Readings help clients evaluate each option in front of them and make the best decision possible for them.
This week I wanted to talk about how I personally use tarot in my business. To an outsider this seems like a wacky idea but I’ll give you a few examples of how tarot provides me with clarity when I’m making business decisions or overwhelmed by options.
My own practice with tarot is less about future prediction than it is about getting information about current circumstances. I use it as a tool to interrupt the cycles of anxiety and overthinking that are common in my life. They always have been there, but since going into business on my own, the cycle of anxiety has become a little bit worse at times.
With the current state of the world this is no different. Tarot helps me shift my mindset and offers opportunities for me to be still and tune in to what I need most.
So how does this work? I’m going to use a few spreads over the next couple weeks to show you.
This is the real deal. It’s how I’ve made tarot my business super power.
I want to start with spreads for timing. When I notice myself procrastinating making decisions or just generally putting off work that is giving me anxiety I like to sit down with my deck and do a reading on timing.
Right now I have a new offering that I am still in the development stage for. I am extremely excited about it and because I will get super amped up and carried away this is a situation where I use my deck to come back down to earth and slow down. Here is a picture of the spread I pulled.
I started off by asking what will pursuing this idea to add to my business. The Four of Cups tells me that it will probably not be the solution to all of my problems but that it will add a different level of emotional satisfaction to my work. It will help take some of the current burden off of me that I feel on a weekly basis. (It’s hard to go too into detail here because I am keeping this idea under wraps for now).
Then, I moved on to asking about when I should focus on developing it. You’ll notice a line of cards here. I pulled one a month for the next few months. With the eight of cups showing up right away in May, I can see that if I can really feel finished with the launch of my course and like I’m getting settled into a flow with things it might be a good time to start. June shows the wheel of fortune reversed which shows me that I might have trouble getting traction towards new ideas this month and that it’s probably not the best time to start something new. Finally, in July with the eight of wands, I see where action meets opportunity. This card is all about action that is in alignment with focus, and usually quick results.
So It looks like May is an option but that I might not feel like I am really hitting my stride until July. I also note that if i don’t have time to get started in May, to give myself some space and time to rest in June and not try to force it to happen then.
Finally I asked when I should release this new project. This spread shows a very interesting spread. Where on the line below I pulled the eight of cups and the eight of wands, I now have the ten of cups and the ten of wands. I always notice progressive cards like this when they show up in a spread. It’s also interesting to see the eight of pentacles. That’s three eights in one spread!
Eight of pentacles is really about tending to the everyday background work that makes a project a success. It’s not the fun stuff, but that which is necessary to build things. So I see for one month after I start that I will be in creation mode. Figuring out technology, systems to make things work.
Then, two months after I start the project I would be in ten of cups reversed, a moment of reflection on how I can make this project more joyful and fun for me. How can I make this sustainable and supportive with all the other work I do?
Finally, the Ten of Wands tells me this will be more work than I anticipate on the front ends and that it will likely be a few months after I start developing it before it can really be out and ready to go.
All of this is information I use to make the best decisions for me. I also put it into the context of what I’m doing in real life. So I know that I am releasing my tarot course the first week of May. I wouldn’t suddenly drop what I was doing and throw my full resources into something new just because the cards suggested it. I use them to inform my timing and how I want to use my energy over the coming weeks.
Next week I will break down a spread that helps me adjust my energy and attention when I’m feeling overwhelmed by new ideas. Stayed tuned.
In the meantime, if you want to know more about using tarot in daily life, please join me for my FREE Training, Tarot for Real Life – Get your Shit Together with the Tarot. It is a FREE (YES 100% FREE) Three Part Live Training on The Top mistakes beginner tarot readers make, the neuroscience of why tarot is a great tool for interrupting the anxiety cycle, and the steps to start reading for yourself in everyday life. Part one took place on Friday 4/24, but you can watch the replay if you sign up now and you’ll catch the other parts later this week. You can sign up here.