It’s hard to believe it’s been two months since took the leap to go full time with my business. June was an absolute blur. I was so busy with reiki session, tarot parties, and new mediumship readings, all while trying to get my business legs under me.
It was stressful but also incredibly energizing. Learning how to manage my energy and listen to my body has been really important for me. Towards the end of my time at my corporate job I spent so much time tuning out. I honestly couldn’t really be tuned it because I knew I was so out of alignment with what I wanted to be doing and I was waiting for the right time to make my move.
This is actually one of my favorite topics to talk about. Tuning in and tuning out of intuition.
As a person who spent a lot of her life tuning out, it’s really been a journey for me to learn when to listen and how to listen.
When I was young I used a crutch that many of us use – busy-ness. I was always active playing for multiple softball teams, singing in every choir possible, participating in hours of rehearsals for plays. All of that was stuff i enjoyed doing yes but I had a relentless need to keep my mind busy or I would get too focused on all the things I was hearing or picking up from people.
I can remember coming home from grade school (I went to Catholic grade school so I’m talking Kindergarten through 8th grade) every day with a headache. As a kid I was very empathic and intuitive and I spent all day picking up things about other students and my teachers. I spent a lot of energy trying to block things out.
As an adult, and especially now that I have embraced some of these skills I still notice that I go through periods of needing to tune out.
I put a lot of pressure on myself not to do that but I am only human. I notice a lot of my intuitive friends do the same things.
So how does it look to tune out as an adult?
Well for me sometimes it looks like drinking more often. This isn’t a matter of getting drunk to forget but just consistently having a glass of wine during that quiet after dinner time.
It also looks like constantly having some sort of noise going, could be mindlessly watching something on netflix or streaming podcast after podcast.bits the mindless noise that we busy our minds with.
I had to stop and sit and be honest with myself this week and realize how I started to tune out a bit again. This happens for me sometimes when there’s some new sort of gift or skill coming in.
Like everyone else I get anxious about change. Being intuitive doesn’t mean being fearless. This past week I had to really sit with myself and listen. I went back to yoga. I did my best to not busy myself every hour of the day so I wouldn’t have to think.
I even started a new tradition of sitting or laying in bed in the morning for an extra 30 minutes or so to give myself some time to think, meditate and listen. Slowly everything starts to balance back out when I do this.
Actually opening up to intituion is not nearly as scary as the anxiety of blocking it will lead you to believe. Whatever it is that I’m avoiding will always come through either in my allowing it to or by force.
It’s like the expression goes “Jump, or be thrown in”.
Before I quit my corporate job I was getting so many signs that it was time. Beyond my deep dread of feeling the rut I was in, I was getting very specific signs. In one week three different people told me “I guess it’s time to hang your shingle”. The exact same phrase over and over from three different people in totally different areas of my life using the same old timey phrase about being public about my business.
Messages were coming through stronger, new reiki abilities started coming. I was totally overwhelmed by the obvious but i couldn’t not look at it.
One of my teachers was listening to me describe how I knew it was coming I was just trying to logically figure out how to make it happen.
He looked at me dead in the face and said “I think you’re going to have to jump before you can see where you’re going to land.”
And I did the thing I always do when someone or my intuition tells me that. I moaned and groaned and asked “why” and avoided tuning in.
I busied myself as much as possible so I wouldn’t have to deal with it until I absolutely couldn’t take it any more.
So many people recently have made comments to me about how if they could just see what’s coming they would have a much easier time. As someone who does see it, I can tell you it’s not true. It can be hard to look at. It is hard to know especially when other people aren’t ready to know.
There’s also this idea that because I can see things or because I’m more connected I am good at this stuff. The truth is that I am a normal person and I struggle with most of the same things everyone else does.
The fact is that no one can be tuned in 100% all the time. It would be so exhausting and overwhelming and we are here to enjoy the human experience.
So often I find that the community of intuitives and Yogi’s want to smash the ego. But my experience is that the ego is a major part of keeping us present in the more human parts of our experience in this lifetime. Being too connected and out of the body isn’t good all of the time.
This fall I have a series of workshops planned combining my love of talking about intuition with yoga and the archetypes of the tarot. I am so excited to share my experience and learn from others.
So far I have sign ups for one course up live at Nectar Yoga Studio owned by the lovely and talented, Kate Goodyear (link to sign up) but I will have several others popping up over the next few weeks. I will be sure to share the the details as I have them.
Thank you for keeping up with my journey.