In this episode, I discuss how to ask better questions in a tarot reading. People often come into readings wanted to be handed all the
- I discuss how to ask questions that provide you with information so that you can make the best decision for you.
- I also talk about some of the big differences between empowering and disempowering questions when you are getting a tarot reading or giving yourself one.
- You want to leave your tarot reading having evaluated your options and with an idea of how to take actionable steps forward.
- I also discuss how it’s easy and common to want the reader or the cards to just give you the answers, but that really puts you in a place of outsourcing your power and your wisdom.
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Sheila M 0:05
Welcome to Living Tarot. I’m your host Sheila Masterson. I’m a tarot reader and teacher, and energy healer and medium and creator of practical Tarot for everyday intuitives. Each week on this podcast, I’ll share my own experience of embracing and growing intuition and interview guests about how they heard the call of intuition, embraced the adventure and embodied the taro along the way. Join us and learn how you can stop second guessing. Empower yourself through intuition and live intentionally with the taro. Welcome back to living Tarot.
I’m really excited for today’s episode because it is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. Today in our episode, we’re going to be talking about how to ask Good questions in a tarot reading, but truly this goes above and beyond a tarot reading and into basically any type of reading that you could get whether it’s astrology, reiki, anything, really because we’re really going to talk about how to get down to the questions you really need to answer and how to ask them from a way and a perspective that empowers you, rather than taking your power away. So, getting down to debt to this, you might have heard in the past, or if you had an upbringing like mine, you might have some fear surrounding Tarot or reading Tarot. You might have this impression that the cards have some sort of supernatural abilities. And I’m really here today to kind of dissuade you from that idea. The cards themselves do not hold any supernatural power. Some people may disagree with me there. But that’s my opinion, the power really lies with the reader and the person who has come to sit down for a session. Or if you are the reader, it really lies with you. And one of the things that is really important is really the filter through which you put those cards. And what I’ve seen over time in the most powerful readings that I’ve done for myself and for clients, is that there’s a huge amount of value in the type of questions that are asked the way in which they are asked and asking in a structure that can start to empower you to make the best decisions for you.Rather than outsourcing your decision making to an inanimate object, a deck of cards. They’re beautiful They’re fabulous. They’re really, really wonderful. But ultimately, you are the one who really holds the answer or your reader is the one that really holds the answer for what’s best for you. So in my opinion, when we talk about the Tarot, we’re really talking about a mirror to human experience. So when you do a reading for yourself, or for someone else, it will really hold up a mirror, to maybe some of the blind spots that you’re experiencing, or some of the things you might not be being totally honest with yourself about. And there can be these moments of doing a reading for yourself that are extremely confronting, and uncomfortable, but also very necessary. And so I do think it’s really important to recognize that this is really meant to be a reflection place for us. And while especially for me and the way that I read can be somewhat predictive sometimes. But what’s more valuable than just having that predictive idea of what’s coming? is having a really heartfelt understanding of what questions you need to be asking and what answers you really need in the moment to make the best choice for yourself. So, questions should be very clear. They should offer information as well as support and action steps for how to move forward and how to really take the reading to the next level and bring it into your real life. So often when people come in for a reading, I Find there, they’re in one of a couple places. So often, they’re looking for advice, they might be struggling either with their partnership, or feeling like, you know, maybe they’re fighting a lot in their relationship. And I really encourage you when this stuff comes up, to really, to really offer yourself compassion, and to understand that, especially when it comes to relationship readings, that so many of us I mean, I will say truly, honestly, I come into this as well, come into a reading about relationships and really have a lot of emotion tied up in it, and can have an extremely, extremely difficult time, separating out how I feel from what’s coming in in the reading, and then asking for good advice about how to manage personally, because that’s the thing about these readings is they are extremely personal. It goes beyond, you know, kind of generalized advice or advice that our friends give us, or even advice that we get from therapists. I’m a huge proponent of therapy. But there can be such a personal connection that comes from doing a reading for yourself and such an ability to make it less personal and more reflective. And at the same time to offer yourself very specific advice about what it is that you are needing or what is lacking in that moment. And so, this is really where we can connect the reading that we’re doing for ourselves to real life and give ourselves some advice through that reflection. So it doesn’t mean that you, for example, instantly go home and break up with your significant other because you got the death card or something like that. After salutely not what I am saying. And really I encourage you not to read this way, because again, you’re giving away your power to an inanimate object, a deck of cards. And you’re also giving up any sense of completion, closure or understanding of what’s going to be a more effective way of asking questions so that you can really make good choices. So when we talk about asking good questions in a reading, there’s a couple things that come up right away for me. So having done thousands of readings at this point, I can tell you, if you are going in to have a reading with someone else. Just be honest. Don’t make the person guess not every reader is psychic First of all, and I think that’s a really important thing to point out.
Not every reader is psychic. Personally would identify a psychic, I don’t like the word, I don’t really think it works in the traditional way that people think it does. So I don’t really like to identify myself that way. But I will say that I do have kind of a deeper understanding that I think goes beyond just the logical sense of things. But that said, What I find often happens in readings is that people are a little self conscious, or a little nervous, or just a little uncomfortable being vulnerable in front of a stranger, which God bless, I completely understand. I do not blame you, I know. But what often happens is people will come in and they’ll be a little bit cagey about what they really want to ask about, and they’ll say, oh, like maybe just like, give me a general reading, or just like, tell me about my career, and that’s great. I can absolutely do that. But then in the last 10 minutes of the reading, they’ll be like, oh, but I’m having some problems in my relationship. Can you dive in here? And I will tell you there are no dumb questions in a reading I would say about 50% or more of my readings are about relationships. And that is no shade to you. It is really important because relationships are a foundational part of being human and especially romantic relationships. And so, if you are experiencing that you don’t have to worry about being a cliche, this is what we all go through. It is so normal, and it is so normal to really need outside perspective when we are in a relationship because it is very emotionally charged and it is hard to get a clear picture for ourselves. So the first thing I will tell you, whether you are reading for yourself or going into get a reading for someone else, be honest about why you’re coming bring to the table, have that real serious talk with yourself. And if you’re not in a place where you are willing to be open or vulnerable with the person who’s reading for you, first of all, they might not be the right reader for you. And that’s okay also.
Or you might just have to suck it up and be a little bit uncomfortable in the moment. Or you might need to seek out somebody else who can give you a little bit more perspective. But it is important to be really honest about what your expectations are, when you’re coming into the reading. Because here’s the other thing. Even as someone who does identify a psychic, I will tell you, there are people who try to like test me when they come into a session. And I can do that. I can play that game and I can get to the bottom of it. But then I’ve spent a good you know, 10-15 minutes, trying to get to the bottom of just the question that you wanted to ask that you were trying to test me to see if I could figure out and you’re really ultimately wasting your time. So I am happy to play that game, if that is something that you want to do, but I don’t find it to be particularly productive. And when it is coming to something important, like relationship issues, and everything that’s going on, I really encourage you to come into a reading, being as honest about where you are in that relationship as possible.
So for example, you wouldn’t show up at a lawyers office and say something vague, like I’m having a problem with my landlord, you would say, I’m having a problem with my landlord, they’re suddenly demanding twice as much rent and I’ve been a tenant for 16 months and this has been happening over the last three months or whatever it is, you would go in and you would give a lot of detail and it works the same way even if you are having a reading that would be determined as psychic or otherwise because there is so much more information than just what you providing. And when you put it on the person who is doing your reading as like a test, you’re really doing yourself a disservice of your time, the money that you’re spending and both of your energy. So we do encourage you to be really upfront about what you want not to be embarrassed, I promise. You could not surprise me with the question that you asked, you probably would be hard pressed to surprise another reader with the questions that you would ask. And people who do this kind of work tend to be extremely passionate about what you’re going through, because we have heard it all. We have seen it all. We have been through it all. And we have a deep sense of understanding and most of us that real sense of empathy. And so I have never had a reading with a client where I’ve judged them for wanting information on relationships. I am in a relationship myself. I know how heavy it can be at times, how stressful it can be, and especially right now with COVID-19 All of the extra pressure that can come up with that. So, I honor you and your questions and there is no question too crazy. It’s not my job as a reader to judge you. And all ethical readers know that and so if you come in and you are having an affair or you are thinking about having an affair or you’ve done something that you feel shitty about in your relationship, it is not my job to judge you for that it is only my job to give you answers and give you insight into what’s going on. So I do want to put that out there first because I do think it’s very, very important.
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Now I will step back down off of m soapbox and get a little bit more into what kind of questions can be helpful. So what we ultimately want to do is ask questions in a way that will provide you with more information, but not make the decision for you. And so in a relationship reading, for example, this might look like asking questions such as how can I communicate more effectively with my partner? What’s going on that’s causing all this conflict in our relationship? How can I help move through that conflict How do I need to show up in this relationship? In order to be a better partner? Maybe there has been some sort of infidelity and you would like to know how can I repair this relationship? How can I rebuild trust with my partner? How can my partner rebuild trust with me? Or even things like how can I help myself move past this? Maybe even stuff like What does moving past this look like for me it? Do I have the capability to do this or what resources can I call on to help me move on from this? When it comes to infidelity, especially there can be a lot of complication. And a lot of extra questions tied up in that and when we bring those questions to friends and to people who love us, you know, they’ll be like, fuck that guy. He doesn’t deserve your attention. He doesn’t deserve your time. But in our hearts, we love that person. And so that’s not really helpful to hear. And we might feel like I’m, I’m in this I made a commitment. And I want to figure out how to make it work. And so getting a reading can be really helpful, because it can push on those spots where we are feeling some discomfort that we can’t quite put our finger on. And when we ask these questions in a way, that inform like, what is this pain? What is this stress that I’m pushing on right now? What is the insecurity that’s coming up for me? And how can I feel validated? Again, those can be really excellent questions because they don’t make a decision for you. They provide you with information so that you can make the best decision for yourself. Because maybe you go through and you ask all those questions and you find out you know what, this really is a deal deal breaker for me and I love this person, but I don’t know how to rectify this in my own mind, so I have to let it go. And that’s okay, but at least then You are making the decision from an informed place and not just letting the cards decide for you.
So I will say that when these more emotional topics come up, and it’s not just relationships, it can also be career stuff, where we have a lot of emotion and a lot of our inherent value tied up in the reading.So when we do these readings, we can really start to get some clarity that is not tied up in our own emotions. And if you are finding if you are a reader and you’re finding, hey, I keep reading on my relationship, or I keep reading on my career,and I’m so anxious right now, maybe it’s a career thing. I’m so anxious right now about COVID, I feel like I cannot get a clear reading on what to do in my career. I’m so anxious right now in my relationship, I feel like I can’t get a clear reading on how to get along with my partner. That’s also a really great time to outsource to someone else. So I get readings from other people not super often but if I do have a situation where or a relationship issue or something like that where I really feel like I am lacking clarity and not able to detach from the emotional side of things, I will reach out to a trusted friend who can give me some insight without having all that emotion wrapped up in it. So there are times where is also good to outsource. And I’ll go over that I’m sure in a future episode in more detail, but it is something good to recognize for yourself. So along with asking questions that are more open ended and can kind of provide you with different options and information to make decisions.
It’s also really good to think about looking at multiple options when we’re looking at our tarot readings. So when we have maybe several options in front of us, this happens a lot with career stuff where we might have a couple different ideas of how we would like things to look going forward. And when we look at each one of those paths, rather than saying, should I do this, should I do this? It can provide us with more information. So I’ll give you a little example. If we had a couple different options, so let’s say option A is staying at your current job. Option B is going and getting a job somewhere else. And option C is staying at your current job and working a little side job project. So if we looked at option A, and we got some stuff that was like, you know, 8 of swords feeling really trapped, and very compressed and very, very contained and not really able to grow moving forward. And then in going somewhere else, maybe we see 10 of pentacles reversed, not a lot of structure or not a lot of ability to grow. And then with options C, we saw the 9 of pentacles. And we thought, oh, okay, so this offers a lot more autonomy over our career. And this is a really important way to look at things because often, we think we have all the answers we think in our own minds that we know exactly how things should be. And, and we think we we’ve figured out the perfect career and all of that, and that might not be the case. And the cards can really reflect the reality of what we’re going to face in each of those options and they can show us both the good things so often when I do this reading, I will pull, you know, what will I experience in general? What will I experienced financially? And what will I experience long term with each of these options, because all of those things are relevant to decision making. It’s not just about me feeling career satisfaction, it’s also about me finding a financially stable career, or me finding longevity in that career. And so it’s very important that we look at different angles and not just a yes or no, because if you have something that you think is your dream job, and you say, Hey, I just got this offer from my dream company, and it’s my dream job, should I take it? And you get a No. What can you do it that really? It’s just very frustrating. And so it’s really important for you in that situation, to be able to step back a little bit. Look at the more holistic picture and ask questions like Hey, what might I experience if I accept this job, and maybe you find out something like, Oh, this new boss is a little bit of a micromanager or Oh, it’s gonna be a little difficult for me to climb the corporate ladder ladder, but I’m going to really like what I was doing. Or maybe this is kind of a short term stepping stone to something that would be better because I’ve had that happen before with clients, where they thought something was their dream job only to find out it was a stepping stone. And then maybe not really believe me in the reading, and then text me like two months later and say, Hey, so you were right. I thought that this was the long term dream job. And then I was here a couple months realized things weren’t great and got headhunted by another company. So it ended up being a stepping stone to a bigger thing. So it is important to have that in mind, because it can help us make the best decisions for us long term. Had we not had that conversation where I said to her Hey, I I think this is a stepping stone to something else, she might have immediately shot down other opportunities that were presented to her. But because she had more of an open mind because of conversations we had, she heard them out when they reached out to her and realized that there was a lot more advancement possible at that other company, and that she would be able to make things work better for her life, and the flexibility that she was looking for with that other position. And so those kind of questions can be extremely, extremely helpful for us.
So beyond just answering these questions,we can also get some insight about what resources we have to make this steps forward. And this can be resources like money. Sure. It can also be resources like other people so especially when it comes to career work. For example, we can ask questions of the Tarot, like, what resources do I have to move towards my dream job? What people can I get in contact with that could really help me out towards the direction that I want to go. And those questions can really light some things up in our minds that we hadn’t really considered before. And I experienced this very often in career readings with people where I will give some sort of insight and when we ask questions about what resources they have, I will mention something that I see coming up in the cards and they’ll be like, Oh my gosh, I totally was out of touch with this person, but they just emailed me the other day, and they were asking about what I was up to, I’m going to reach out to them and let them know that I’m looking for work in this area or whatever.
And asking those questions when we when we really ask in a way where we are asking for support. When we were asking about how to be better resource can really help us to make better decisions because then we don’t feel like we’re as alone in the decisions that we’re making. And so that’s much more valuable than saying yes or no. Should I do this? Should I take this job? So ultimately, whenever you’re thinking about creating spreads, asking questions, when you go in for a reading, you really want to try to come from a place of empowering yourself, rather than having the other person tell you what to do, and I get it. It is very easy to give your power away to someone else, especially in this day and age. When we are dealing with a global pandemic, a civil uprising, and a social justice movement that is emotional and overwhelming at times. It can be very easy for all of us to want to just opt out and have somebody else tell us what to do. We’re all exhausted. We don’t want to make too decisions. We are in a full on trauma state long term. And so it can be really overwhelming to make decisions. But you’re not really doing yourself a favor by opting out of your own life. And so it’s important that when we come into a reading, whether it’s for ourselves or with someone else, that we’re asking questions in a way that empowers us and inspires our decision making process, and informs us and helps us to see the challenge and the answer with clarity and with recognizing how we enter into these different situations. So perhaps you are a person that’s extremely emotional, and you’re in our personal relationships and you know, you are really hard time being neutral in romantic relationships. It can be extremely helpful. I am right there with you my friend. I am absolutely right there with you. I am always coming into readings about romantic relationships, and interpersonal relationships with a lot of emotion. And it can be really difficult for me to ask questions in a way that it’s constructive instead of just being like, just tell me what to do. Just tell me how to fix everything. I get it. I’m with you. And I’m only laughing because I’ve experienced it myself. And so it’s really important to ask these questions in a way that kind of forces us out of our comfort zone a little bit, and also forces us to take responsibility for advocating for ourselves. And when we ask questions in this way, that empower us and force us to be our own advocate. It’s extremely powerful. So I hope that gives you a little bit to think about in terms of how to ask questions when you are coming in for a tarot reading, or when you’re creating spreads. are asking questions for yourself.
I would love to hear any feedback you might have about this episode, it kind of turned some gears or some things kind of clicked into place when you were hearing this. I love having these conversations about this. And I’ve really found it to be an incredibly potent way for me to go deeper with my own personal readings and with my readings for clients. So that’s all I have for you today. I will see you back here in the next episode.
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